welcome to my world

okay. here i am. my apologies for being a little nervous. posting my personal thoughts and feelings for the whole world to see doesn't exactly make me feel at ease. i don't want other people reading my mind, but at the same time i do. indescisive me. when i was little i kept a diary, or atleast started several, but that soon ended as i got lazy. well, i'm asking the reader of this to keep me accountable in keeping this journal updated. i'm hoping that writing in this thing will help me organize my busy thoughts and maybe even guide me to discovering something about myself that i don't already know. with all that said:the women's choir i'm in sucks! it consists of about 80 girls; many cannot sight-read, they are lazy singers, they rarely watch the director. they hardly try, but i guess thats what comes with not caring. its humiliating at performances.i'm wondering why people have stupid reasons to not like me. example, this girl says that i have gotten "on her last nerve" because i said that i am from atlanta when i really live outside of atlanta. WHAT THE HELL? we are almost adults for christs sake, not preteens! i said i didn't care but it bothers me a little. how many people get an impression of me and stick with it? as far as i know its only girls that are like this. i didn't do anything to them. does that mean they are jealous? what of? my looks=average. and i'm not fishin for compliments here its just hard to believe that not everyone thinks like i do. heh, okay okay, i'm a little naive at times. i think i'm beginning to get used to this college thing. its not as bad as i thought it would be. busy yes, but not that hard. but god do i miss home. people said i would miss my parents eventually...well, i'm still waitin on that one to happen. but my friends, i miss the old times. i'm scared to lose them. i'm making great friends here but my highschool buds are the one's who helped make me who i am, they witnessed my growing up. also, i've made several friends from atl who i haven't even met yet! the timing sux. i was there for 3 years and i didn't even know these interesting people existed til i went to school 4 hours away!anyways, i was up late last night. i probably will be tonight too. i can't seem to pull myself away from the computer. my friends give me a hard time about this. i can't decide if its a bad thing or not.