taken from jonatha...

taken from jonathan's away message:"You know, a lot of people out there really think they are somebody. But they are not. They better be careful, because one day the just might realize they have become somebody they aren't"

god i...

god i am such a moron! unconsciously i try to please people by my attitude towards things, and i end up looking like a shmuck! i've learned that if you don't have an opinion on something, you're not "deep"; if you have an opinion on something and its different from someone else's, you're just flat out wrong; if you agree with someone else's opinion on something, you have no personality of your own, you just bend yourself to be like other people so they will like you. i really hate people right now, cause they make me hate myself

there's an an...

there's an angry, controlling girl inside of me she won't let me move and won't let me freeshe's determined to break me down and make me cryand i can't help but to give in sometimesthere's a sad and lonely girl inside of methe thing is that's the way she likes to bei'll often try to make her smileso people won't notice this grown-up childshe grasps my insides so that i can't breatheshe tears me apart and makes me bleedplease don't let her drive you awayits her, not me, that doesn't want you to stay

Name: jennifer...

Name: jennifer+Do you like your name?: its too common+Age: 18+Do you wish you were older?: i wish i was 21 and could stay that way+Height: 5'6"+Do you wish you were taller?: i wish i was atleast 5'8"+Do you think you're fat?: heh no+Do you think you're too skinny?: a little+Birthday: 5-19-83+Do you like your birthday?: yeah sure+Eye color: blue+Hair color: dirty blond+Do you like the way you look?: sometimes+What would you change about your looks?: bigger breasts, more butt, darker skin+Hometown: waycross ga, lagrange ga, brunswick ga, tyrone ga+Current residence: nashville, tn+School: belmont university+Boyfriend/Girlfriend?: yes+Favorite colors: navy blue, maroon+Where do you see yourself in ten years?: i try not to predict my future, plus i'll almost be 30 and thats depressing+What is your biggest fear?: spiders+Do you believe in love at first sight?: i believe in lust at first sight+Favorite baseball team: uh, braves i guess+Do you like to go to the mall?: if i'm spending someone else's $+Boxers or Briefs?: boxer briefs ::drools::+If you were stuck on an island, who would you wanna be stuck with?: chad or my little brother, cause he's cool+Do you want to get married?: yes+Do you want to have kids?: it just seems so painful!+Favorite cartoon character: aqua teen hunger force, brak+Favorite TV show: elimidate+Are you afraid to die?: yes and no+What's your screen name(s)?: jennibethtr+Do you live at home?: during the summer+Do you like where you live?: no+Dream car: anything lexus+If you could change your name, what would it be?: i dunno+Favorite restaurant: myabi's, good japanese+What do you want to be when you grow up?: recording artist+Have you ever been on TV?: does the news count?THE FUTURE: +What do u want to do?: perform+Where are you going to school next year?: same as this year+When do you think you'll die?: when i stop breathing+Would you ever dye your hair?: yes+What do you think of the person that you got this off of?: though i've never really met her, lindsey seems to be a very kind and intelligent person+Marilyn Manson or Hanson?: ugh+Do you like McDonalds or Burger King? Burger King+Do long distance relationships work?: has for me so far+What is the most messed up thing anyone has done to you?: forgive and forget is my motto, well, i can't really think of anything right now+Dancing or singing?: singing+Weirdest moment?: those damn akward silences on the phone+Do you take bubble baths?: not in our bathtub!+Do you sing in the shower?: yes+Who is the loudest person you know?: heather smith+Who is the most quiet person you know?: this chick in my music business class+What is your "Happy Place"?: my bed+What is your favorite thing to do when you are not online?: i have to agree with lindsey, being high and being asleep are tied+Who do you wish wanted to date you?: josh hartnett+Is this survey a pan in the ass?: most survey's are+Who do you go to for advice on the opposite sex?: i don't usually go to anyone+Best friend?: brickle, chad+Worst enemy?: n/aRELATIONSHIPS: +Ever been in love?: yesh+Are you in love now?: yesh+Single?: no+Do you have a secret crush?: more than one, but i don't intend to pursue, just like the eye candy+Does someone have a secret crush on you?: if its a "secret crush" then how the hell should i know+Gone out with someone and regretted it?: yes+Perfect date: just laying around enjoying eachotherTHE PRESENT: +Whats on the tv?: mtv cribs+What time is it?: 6:43 pm+Eating anything?: no+Are you tired?: yes+What are you wearing?: a tshirt and cargo pants

i don'...

i don't know why, but i have just been incredibly lazy when it comes to updating my journal. last weekend was soooo great! chad came to see me, i was kinda surprised that he actually came. even though he was broke and i had to shell out $80 for a hotel and some money for his gas, i would say it was well worth it. just one question...how come i'm the one who's jobless yet i always have more money than he does? i don't mind spending it on him, i'm just wondering what he does spend all his money on. but it was a really relaxing weekend and it was REALLY great to see him. i'm looking forward to this summer when he won't be so far away. brickle is coming to see me this weekend! i never realized how much i miss my old friends until this week. planning spring break is causing so much drama here. everyone wanted to go a few months ago, a few pull out with 3 weeks to go, causing the people who are still going to have to pay extra. ITS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!! argh!ah well, grin and bear it i guess. i have every intention to make the best of my spring break.

>"You wer...

>"You were a Teen of the early 90's if... > > > >You owned a shirt that was half see through including the sleeves). > >You had to have a pair of Z Cavariccis' or Girbaud's. > >You were Zodiacks. > >You know who Leonardo,Michelangelo, Raphael and Donatello are. > >You remember the Milli Vanilli scandall. > >You religiously watched 90210, Melrose Place, Party of Five, and My > >So-Called Life. > >You tight-rolled your jeans. > >You wore big hoop earrings. > >You thought bellbottoms were horrible and couldn't understand why anyone > >would've ever worn them. > >You watched Dial MTV, and remember who Nelson, Slaughter, Warrant,and > >Winger were. > >You knew how to do the dances called the MC Hammer, the Roger Rabbit, and > >the running man. > >You owned a pair of K-Swiss, Keds, or Air Jordans. > >You thought "Ice Ice Baby" was the coolest song ever, and when your >parents > >told you Vanilla Ice would be a shot in the pan, you refused to believe > >them. > >You remember when they played "I'm Proud to be an American" every minute > >during the Gulf War. > >Your bangs were at least 2 inches high, and you thought it looked good. > >A hairdryer was required to set your hair. > >You rolled up the sleeves of your t-shirts, and > >tucked in the front,letting the back hang out. > >You had any "No Fear" or "B.U.M." clothing. > >You wore pairs of neon colored socks. > >You wore overalls with only one side connected. > >You had Electric Youth perfume. > >You remember when cartoons were actually GOOD, and not scary like the > >Teletubbies. > >You loved to slow dance to Power Ballads. > >You had a "slap bracelet". > >You wore your sweatpants pulled up to your knees. > >You had a black Debbie Gibson hat. > >You wanted to be just like Paula Abdul. > >You know the words to "The Humpty Dance". > >You owned the Bell Biv DeVoe tape. > >You said, "SIKE!" or "WAY!" > >You saw "Wayne's World" at least 2 times at the theater. > >You loved the New Kids (and Jordan was probably your favorite.) > >You wore jeans pulled up to your navel. > >All of your clothes were "baggy". > >You owned a pair of biker shorts. > >You wore "water shoes" into the pool. > >You had a boom box, or your stereo was a weird color like pink. > >You bought tapes instead of CDs. > >You never missed "Fresh Prince". > >You or someone you knew wore "Cross-Colors" clothing. > >You remember when TLC weren't divas, and they dressed like they were in >the > >circus. > >You thought "I'm Too Sexy" was such a cool song. > >You "busted a move" while C&C Music Factory was playing. > >You remember when Mark Wahlberg was part of "Marky Mark and the Funky > >Bunch". > >You owned a silk shirt, which you tucked into your jeans. > >You had jeans in various colors, like green, brown, black... > >You had a "Button Your Fly" t-shirt. > >You had a Ren and Stimpy t-shirt. > >You thought long-haired heavy metal bands would never go out of style. > >You were addicted to Nintendo. > >There were multiple rubber bands on your pony tail. > >You gave the "peace" sign all the time. > >You loved Beavis and Butthead. > >If you were a guy, you had your hair shaved underneath and you parted it > >down the middle. > >You or your sister owned a banana barette and a T-clip. > >You were a punk rocker for Halloween at least once. i'm somewhat embarrased, yet, in a way, so proud.

Take the ...

Take the Whatanimal best portrays your sexual appetite?? Quiz

MY COMPUTER!!!...

MY COMPUTER!!! IT WORKS! IT WORKS!!sux i gotta reinstall EVERYTHING!

so my comp...

so my computer has decided to turn against me and fuck up. now i have to have a new harddrive installed. which i think means that i lose everything i didn't back up. my music, my pictures, my downloaded programs. woe is me!before that, i had an INCREDIBLE weekend! i went to athens and spent the evening with chad in his friends apartment. that night he said some things that made me for the first time positive that we were doing the right thing. i've always had this insecurity about our relationship. i always doubted that he really loved me. last weekend he proved me wrong, and i am so glad. sunday night i went to see dieselboy and dara at studio central. it was a good party but something was really wrong with my heart and i had to leave around 3. i think it had to do with the yellow jacket i took the night before. well, i miss chad more than ever but now i don't have to deal with any doubts, insecurities, or worries so that makes it a lot easier. i could spend the rest of my life with that man and, well, i hope i do.

http:/...

http://www.toiletduk.net/insanity_test/that is the funniest thing i've heard all day!

i just ...

i just cut off my hair and my head feels like 10 pounds lighter. i feel like a lot of stress went with it. i let my roommate do it(talk about trust). i like it a lot though =)its just above my shoulders and we're gonna layer it all around tommorrow when we get some razor cutters.ps. i miss chad

i just ...

i just cut off my hair and my head feels like 10 pounds lighter. i feel like a lot of stress went with it. i let my roommate do it(talk about trust). i like it a lot though =)its just above my shoulders and we're gonna layer it all around tommorrow when we get some razor cutters.ps. i miss chad

You liv...

You live in a Shack.You're married to freddie prinze jr.You drive a corvette.Your car is the color red.You live in the state georgia.Your honeymoon is greece.Your occupation is a music producer.You have this many kids: 2 (1 male; 1 female).i drive a corvette and live in a shack?? oh well, i'm married to freddie (although i would prefer chad)

http://...

http://www.tribals.com/gallery/tribal32.gifi want a tattoo kinda like the one above. if you alter it a little it looks a lot like a treble clef.

back in tennes...

back in tennessee. i miss chad and brickle and angevine so much. i hope i'm not wasting my time here. p.s. the royal tennanbaums was a long, boring movie.

So, which ...

So, which Fraggle ARE YOU most like? Click here to find out.cool

note to self...

note to self: you are only as mad as you let yourself get.

grrrr, s...

grrrr, snow is pretty to look at and all, but it may prevent me from taking my car back to school.=( it also kept me from seeing chad today. double =(well, i go back to nashville on monday and i haven't seen half the people i thought i would this vacation. there were so many people i wanted to hang out with but nothing worked out. i didn't go to any parties..mainly because i'm walking on a line with my parents and i didn't want to risk anything that could jeopardize my relationship with them anymore.i never thought i'd say this, but the party lifestyle is starting to get old. not the "parties" but the people and the drinking and all. drinking is fun, but after last weekend i thought the world would never stop spinning and it scared me. ignoring God is getting old too. i've been wanting to live my own life, with noone telling me what to do, not even Him. its so much easier in a way but so much harder being so stubborn. and acting so selfish makes me feel really bad about myself. its just, i'm afraid of not being able to have fun.i am selfish. i lie to my parents so i can do what i want. i lie to my friends so i won't look bad. i lie to myself so i can try to justify my actions. i've broken commitments to God, myself, and my parents.heh, i guess admitting the problem is the first step towards recovery, right?i think its time i go back to the way i used to be. i wanted to experience things, and i did. and i like the way it used to be better. i used to help people to help them, not so it could look good on my resume. i've hurt a few people, and i've gotten what i deserved. no i take that back, God has been merciful!

...

"I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it."ayayay, i've managed to get myself in trouble once again. my parents are never gonna trust me if i keep doin shit like this. who woulda thought that one little white fib would turn into a heapful of stinking lies. i guess one could say i've been humbled by this experiance. i will never again see the light of day.

ah christ...

ah christmas, the day i sit around with my all male relatives watching saturday night live reruns and eating pumpkin pie. how merry.i'm just so bored. it really sux that christmas gets less and less exciting each year. its just becoming so routine. i don't even know what to ask for anymore. i'm grateful for the presents i opened though. i got a digital camera and over $500. i also got the collection of poems by shel silverstein "falling up." that man is my childhood hero. i'm on my way home tomorrow (thank god)but right now its time for fun games with the family. oh boy.i'm just filled with christmas spirit.

aargh!!! my m...

aargh!!! my mom is driving me UP THE WALL!!! she is the only thing that makes me want to leave and go back to nashville right now. she picks and nags and questions and nags. thank god she has a job now or i would be stuck with her all day. ::sigh:: on the lighter side, my relationship with chad is better than ever. we've talked about things in the past 3 days that we've never talked about in our 9 month relationship. i feel like we've opened up to eachother, i can completely trust him and he also can trust me. and when he tells me he loves me i don't doubt it anymore. we have really enjoyed eachother the past 3 days.

i'm really j...

i'm really just testing my picture. i went to see micro last night and was a little disappointed. i guess progressive trance just isn't my thang. i spent most of the night dancing in the back room which was mostly filled with the sounds of uk hardhouse and other styles similar to that.i can't wait to go home on monday! i'm really worried about my algebra exam that morning though, its going to be hell.anyways, time to get my study on!

wh...

when someone walks up to you in the mall and says "have you ever thought about being a model?" its quite flattering. i went to their meeting at their offices, they took my picture and said we'll call you monday at 10. i wake up ten minutes early on monday so i don't sound like i have phlegm in my throat when i answer the phone. i'm a little excited, but i don't really expect to make in because i'm about 2 inches too short to be a real model. well, 11 rolls around and i have to go to class. it is now 1 and they still have not called. i'm not going to lie, i'm a little disappointed i didn't make it, but they could have atleast called to tell me that, instead of left me here...wondering. oh well, i've lost nothing but a little respect for that company.

wh...

when someone walks up to you in the mall and says "have you ever thought about being a model?" its quite flattering. i went to their meeting at their offices, they took my picture and said we'll call you monday at 10. i wake up ten minutes early on monday so i don't sound like i have phlegm in my throat when i answer the phone. i'm a little excited, but i don't really expect to make in because i'm about 2 inches too short to be a real model. well, 11 rolls around and i have to go to class. it is now 1 and they still have not called. i'm not going to lie, i'm a little disappointed i didn't make it, but they could have atleast called to tell me that, instead of left me here...wondering. oh well, i've lost nothing but a little respect for that company.

i'v...

i've come to the conclusion that live journal SUX! it rarely works, grrrrr!!!

whew! i ha...

whew! i had a perty good thanksgiving holiday. a VERY busy one though. i had a performance friday night that i feel went very well. my friends tell me they're starting to worry about my losing weight. brickle said my cheeks were starting to hollow. gross. hopefully i gain enough to be healthy looking over christmas break. though i was disappointed i didn't get the oppurtunity to spend time with everyone that i wanted to, i still had a great time meeting the people that i talk to so much. i cannot wait for christmas break so i can see everyone. i was all gung-ho for school at the beginning of the semester, but now i've become such a slacker! i should be working on a paper. i finished a new song, i really like this one. its sound is a little different from my others, it features the piano a little more and shows off my voice a little better also. anyways, i think this week is going to be a hell of one, so i need to get movin.

i ju...

i just met with my advisor. i'm taking 17 hours next semester. thats 13 different classes. geez, the life of a music major...

When The Pa...

When The Pawn Hits The Conflicts He Thinks Like A KingWhat He Knows Throws The Blows When He Goes To The FightAnd He?ll Win The Whole Thing ?Fore He Enters The RingThere?s No Body To Batter When Your Mind Is Your MightSo When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own HandAnd Remember That Depth Is The Greatest Of HeightsAnd If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where To LandAnd If You Fall It Won?t Matter, Cuz You?ll Know That You?re Right -fiona applei love this. it makes me feel so good for some reason.

i have s...

i have so much energy today! its beautiful outside, its days like this that i feel God the most. its days like this that i don't care what anyone could say about me, i don't try to impress anyone anymore, let them think what they want but i like me. i hate that it took me so long to stop worrying about what others think. i don't even care about guys anymore! ha! its grreat! right now i feel like i could go my whole life without a man, i feel so independent. the feeling probably won't last long though, tonight i'll be sitting in my dark room wanting someon to cuddle with. but for now!! i'm enjoying this feeling.

welcome to my world

okay. here i am. my apologies for being a little nervous. posting my personal thoughts and feelings for the whole world to see doesn't exactly make me feel at ease. i don't want other people reading my mind, but at the same time i do. indescisive me. when i was little i kept a diary, or atleast started several, but that soon ended as i got lazy. well, i'm asking the reader of this to keep me accountable in keeping this journal updated. i'm hoping that writing in this thing will help me organize my busy thoughts and maybe even guide me to discovering something about myself that i don't already know. with all that said:the women's choir i'm in sucks! it consists of about 80 girls; many cannot sight-read, they are lazy singers, they rarely watch the director. they hardly try, but i guess thats what comes with not caring. its humiliating at performances.i'm wondering why people have stupid reasons to not like me. example, this girl says that i have gotten "on her last nerve" because i said that i am from atlanta when i really live outside of atlanta. WHAT THE HELL? we are almost adults for christs sake, not preteens! i said i didn't care but it bothers me a little. how many people get an impression of me and stick with it? as far as i know its only girls that are like this. i didn't do anything to them. does that mean they are jealous? what of? my looks=average. and i'm not fishin for compliments here its just hard to believe that not everyone thinks like i do. heh, okay okay, i'm a little naive at times. i think i'm beginning to get used to this college thing. its not as bad as i thought it would be. busy yes, but not that hard. but god do i miss home. people said i would miss my parents eventually...well, i'm still waitin on that one to happen. but my friends, i miss the old times. i'm scared to lose them. i'm making great friends here but my highschool buds are the one's who helped make me who i am, they witnessed my growing up. also, i've made several friends from atl who i haven't even met yet! the timing sux. i was there for 3 years and i didn't even know these interesting people existed til i went to school 4 hours away!anyways, i was up late last night. i probably will be tonight too. i can't seem to pull myself away from the computer. my friends give me a hard time about this. i can't decide if its a bad thing or not.